I Carry Her Heart...

Since this past New Year's Eve life hasn't quite been the same. The little life that I had been carrying inside of me finally decided to make her debut. She came into this world in a dimly lit, roomy yet cozy hospital room. My sweet husband was there, laying her on my chest, with our nurse midwife and two other nurses. It was quiet and peaceful and couldn't have been a more perfect moment. She layed on my chest for the next hour and a half as we marveled at her mere existence. No one measured her or poked her; they just let her be as we enjoyed our new little family. Since that moment I have marveled at the love I feel for this little girl. I am grateful every day that I could not only carry her, but that I am the one who gets to be her Mama. She fills my heart, my life with an indescribable joy. I had absolutely no idea that this was what motherhood would be like. It's as if I was blind before and am only now able to see. I have heard so many women speak about this feeling and never truly understood til now. This is truly a gift.

Life as I know it is now viewed through a completely different lens. A quite beautiful lens, if I do say so. My prayers for her are constant. She is my motivation to be healthy and strong so that I can be there for her. She is a huge reason that I continue to strive to become a more godly woman, wife, and mother. She will be watching, absorbing, and learning. I want God to mold me to be the very best I can be for my sweet girl. She is a breath of fresh air even when I've had little sleep and a long day at work with laundry and dishes appearing by the pile. She is always with me. Her existence brings new meaning to these beautiful, soulful words that cut to the core of my feelings for my Rhys Isabelle.

“I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)I am never without it (anywhere
I go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
I fear no fate (for you are my fate,my sweet)I want no world (for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)” 
― E.E. Cummings

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One In The Nest...

(Source: http://mchasenarratives.wordpress.com/2011/11/16/richmond-film-photographer/) 

In April of this year my husband and I found out that God answered a prayer of ours that we had been praying for a while.  We prayed for His timing, His will, and His blessings.  God is always faithful even when we are faithless.  He doesn't always answer our prayers the way we envision He will.  I believe His way is always better and I am always amazed at His timing, creativity, and grace.  I will never tire of those things.  And I will always be grateful for this answer He so lovingly gave us...a sweet baby girl!  We had been praying for an addition to our family, for my health, and for this new addition to be healthy.  He brought us through trials of waiting, of a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, through an ER visit, different medications, and eventually brought us to the moment we found out that this Christmas we would be blessed with a tiny baby.  I am grateful for the trials He took us through for so many reasons. In my humble opinion, these trials were nothing in comparison to what others I know and love have had to go through to have a family of their own.  But these trials of ours brought my husband and I closer, saved me from many possible kinds of cancer, and eventually resulted in the baby girl I now carry.  God is good all the time.  

Because of this wonderful blessing I have been able to experience the miracle of carrying a child.  To share one's body with a growing life is truly a miracle.  To know what is developing and when and know that what I do directly impacts her life is brilliant and also a heavy charge. I started preparing for her physically a while ago and pray that she remains to be a healthy, normal baby.  We have also been praying for her to know the Lord and have a close walk with Him.  I also could not be more blessed in terms of a husband.  He has been so supportive, loving, compassionate, and kind.  He has been with me through everything, helped me to have an enjoyable pregnancy, and will be there as my coach when we bring this baby girl into the world.  For that moment, I am so thrilled!

Starting our own little family is such an incredible feeling! My husband and I will soon have a daughter to raise, care for, teach, and most importantly love.  The thought of being a mama to this little one is something I think about daily.  I think about the moment we'll meet, the first time I'll hold her and see the sweet face that I've been dreaming about for almost nine months.  I am so ecstatic about experiencing motherhood, getting to know my daughter, and getting to know myself and my husband as parents.

Christmas day is her due date.  What a wonderful Christmas gift to receive!

Thanks for stopping by and have a blessed weekend!

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Savory & Sweet.

Summer is winding down and I am finding so much to do and make in these last few weeks...and loving it! I have so much energy and motivation to create and organize!  This week, besides organizing gift wrap bags and utensil drawers, I decided to spend a week in the kitchen with none other than Rachel Ray...and by Rachel Ray I mean her magazine that my dear, sweet friend Lauren gifted me for an entire year!  I'd have to say my favorite thing about it is the amount of time spent prepping and cooking.  It's hardly hours slaving over the stove, yet produces delicious and aesthetically pleasing dishes! See for yourself!

Tonight's Dinner:

Sausage Rolls with Baby Spinach & Red Pepper Salad

Both of these came from the RR weekly meal planner insert found in her monthly magazine.  Super easy! About 30-40 minutes of prepping stuff/making the salad and about 25 minutes for the sausage rolls to bake.  

Here you'll find the ingredients and directions.  http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/rachael-ray-magazine-recipe-search/dinner-recipes/sausage-rolls-with-spinach-salad 

Some tips that I discovered along the way:  

For step 1 I found it easier to use some good ol' fashioned elbow grease and mix the sausage, breadcrumbs, and red pepper with my hand.  "Stirring" it was not going to get the job done.  This was much more affective in getting the breadcrumbs mixed in since the sausage is so moist and they are so dry.  

For step 2, use the parchment paper to help you wrap the sausage. It comes off of the paper easily, but while it's still on it, it helps to bring up the sides.  

For the steps involving rolling things out to a certain length, I used my parchment paper or foil as a marker.  If you look on the box it will tell you how long the paper/foil is.  My foil was 12" so I used that as a gauge when I rolled out my 11" sausage logs before sticking them in the fridge.  Most people probably just eyeball it but when I cook I transform into a type A monster since I'm really more comfortable baking, due to its exact science-ness :)  

For step 3, my oven cooked it to a beautiful golden brown in 25 minutes so you might want to check on it before the full 30 are up.  Seeing how it turned out in the "looks" department, I might also brush some egg on the rest of it next time and not just the top, so as to give the entire roll that golden brown, crispy look (which you can see here on the top).  

For step 4, if you use the same tablespoon for the mustard as you used for the olive oil, the mustard will literally just slide right out of the tablespoon if you don't wash it first.  I was quite excited about this because I hate digging creamy condiments out of measuring spoons.  Finally, for this step, I added the peppers first, coated them very well, and added the spinach last.  I spent a good amount of time making sure the baby spinach was coated in the dressing (which was yummy by the way!).  If you are not a fan of tart dressings, ease off on the lemon. You'd be surprised how much lemon juice comes out of just 1/2 lemon!  

This, of course, would not be complete without some sort of sweet yumminess to top off the evening. At my husband's request I baked some banana walnut muffins.  I decided to stick with Rachel since I am loving her magazine and found a neat recipe on her website.  http://www.rachaelraymag.com/Recipes/rachael-ray-magazine-recipe-search/dessert-recipes/banana-walnut-muffins

Dry ingredients to mix

For step 3 I decided to use some of my yummy bananas I've been saving in the freezer for just a baking occasion such as this.  They defrost nicely in the microwave for somewhere around a minute or less.  I also love this Pampered Chef utensil for mashing things.  It's called a Mix n Chop.  I use it for everything from ground beef to mashed potatoes to mashing bananas.  Works great!...as you can see :)  For the yogurt it was near impossible to find a small container of whole milk plain yogurt at the store so I decided to go with a plain greek yogurt after reading some reviews on the RR page under this recipe.  So glad I did!  It gives the flavor a neat, but subtle twist! 

After mixing the wet ingredients with the dry ingredients I got something like this:

It says to fill the muffin liners to the top .  I love to use this scoop!  It works for thicker or thinner batters. I've used it for fruit, baking, you name it.  I hate getting batter on my muffin trays or liners (Type A monster...) so I use this scoop so there's no dripping and it's more precise.  They also have a measurement (I think this one is 2 tablespoons) which can come in handy. 

And one of my favorite parts was the sugar and cinnamon mix to sprinkle on top.  Another Pampered Chef product (I used to sell it) that makes my life so easy!  I used more after they came out of the oven - mostly for taste :)  but also to give them that glittery, sugary look like the ones in the bakeries!  

And the final product....yes, one is missing. Well I had to sample it before I could let anyone else eat them :)  

Guten Appetit! 

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Home.

When you hear the word home what comes to mind for you? For me, this week, it's my husband.  Tomorrow, July 22nd, we will celebrate that we have been married for five years!  We have a great deal to be thankful for!

You might be wondering why the word home would make me think of him, or what the story behind it might be.  Under the Love Story tab you may have read what I've posted so far about how we came to be together and fall in love.  What I have not yet posted are some of the incredible mountains and valleys that we have been through since committing ourselves to one another before the Lord, our family, and friends (of course more will be posted there soon!).

Before my husband and I dated I knew that he was A. in the Army National Guard and had a very good chance of soon deploying overseas, and B. was in the middle of a path to a nursing degree from a four-year university.  ...and I dated him anyways :)  He says, to this day, that he is still surprised that I didn't run screaming in the other direction.  But the heart wants what it wants.  And I wanted him, and still do, every day for the rest of my life.  Less than two weeks after we were married, I drove him to his armory, from where he would "ship out."  He would then spend a few months in another state training and I would fly out to see him for a long weekend.  After this training he'd come home for a week and then we wouldn't see each other for 10 long months.  We would meet in the beautiful country of Germany for our one year anniversary (my plane ticket was my "paper" wedding gift! how's that for a one-year gift?? pretty incredible if you ask me!) and spend two and a half weeks exploring together. After this we'd wait yet another 3 months to finally be reunited for good, making the first 15 months of our marriage spent an ocean apart. During these 15 months God watched over and blessed our relationship in so many ways. We learned to communicate better, wrote real love letters, emails, used video chats for the first time, and sent each other packages to have real tangible pieces of home.  Home...there's that word again.  During this time I heard Michael Buble's song Home.  It resonated with me so deeply. It doesn't matter what beautiful place you're surrounded by or how many people are keeping you company (and I had a great support network of close family and friends), true home, for me, is wherever he is, wherever we can be together.  It's not this structure under which we sleep in our warm beds, it's not the furniture or stuff we've accumulated.  Home is us. Together. Connected. I would go or move anywhere as long as it's with him.

We would go on to endure more separation as he completed his nursing degree at a university over three hours from where we live.  Physical separation is never easy and brings with it trials, but can also bring blessings of which you've never dreamed.  We appreciate more about each other than we ever thought we would.  We love the ordinary, repetitious things of married life that some might take for granted.  We like grocery shopping together or running errands together.  When you have so little time with someone, those moments become precious.  You see things in them and sides of them that you may not have otherwise seen. It deepens your love for them, the value you place in your relationship with them, and how you pray for them.  It shows you what is truly important in life.  Home for me has been a train speeding through the magnificent forests in Germany, a tearful goodbye or reunion at an airport, a tiny two-room apartment off-campus filled with more love than you can imagine, a breathtaking balcony view at the foot of the highest mountain on our first anniversary, hanging on for dear life on top of that mountain together, and so many more moments that have filled our lives.

I am blessed beyond words to be married to a godly, sweet, kind, compassionate, creative, honorable man, who chose to spend his life with me by his side, and that God has given us these wonderful five years together. I am sure there are many more great ones to come.  Home is where my heart lies...with him.

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Sweeeeeeet Frog!

After a little hiatus due to craziness, I am back in the blog world and writing about something sweet, healthy, and near and dear to my....stomach!  Recently several Sweet Frogs have cropped up around the city/town I live in.  And I couldn't be happier!  I am a huge fan of local ice cream hot spots but this one lets me leave feeling a little less guilty!  This place has a great variety of natural, daily-made frozen yogurt.  I love that it's natural!  I also love the toppings bar (pictured above - source www.sweet-frog.com).  It's completely self-serve.  After choosing which size bowl you want, head over to the fro-yo wall! That's right...wall.  There are lots of flavors, from fruity ones to sugary chocolate, vanilla, cake batter (yum!), or cookies and cream.  There's really a great selection.  Then my favorite part...the toppings bar.  I love that I can pile as much of whatever I want on there and not have to ask for more or feel bad about asking for more of a certain topping.  How wonderful!  After I pile on as much oreo crumbs, chocolate sprinkles, ....oh and some healthy fresh blueberries :)  I head to the scale.  Yep, the fro-yo gets weighed and is 39 cents an ounce.  Not too bad.  It's fun, super cute, and the one near me is a locally-owned, Christian business.  After I weigh my fro-yo and pay, there's a little sign on my way out that says Sweet Frog - Fuly Rely On God!  Love it! Their atmosphere is great and friendly, there are cute cafe/bistro tables with umbrellas outside, and their sign and colors are adorable.  Oh and the best part, the fro-yo actually tastes great!!  I don't know what your plans for summer, but I am psyched to have this refreshing business right around the corner to cool things off!  Happy fro-yoing!

~Robyn

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Sheep.

This past Tuesday night I began a new Bible study.  It's one of Anne Graham Lotz's called Pursuing More of Jesus.  I don't know about you, but I totally want me some more Jesus!  Anne points out that it's not necessarily the most important thing to "get through" tons of scripture when spending time in the word, but really understanding what God is saying through His word.  Therefore, she has us break things down verse by verse, write down quite plainly what the verse is saying, ask what sort of lesson God is trying to convey through that verse, and then ask ourselves what lesson we can take away from it.  My verses for tonight came from John 10, where Jesus talks about the shepherd and his flock. I love that he compares us to sheep.  Unfortunately sheep are sometimes thought of as extremely unintelligent, however this is untrue. Studies have shown they are closer to pigs on the I.Q. scale.  So I do not believe Jesus thinks we are dumb.  He does know we need Him to lead us.  One remarkable fact about sheep is their ability to remember and recall human voices.  They know the voice of their shepherd. John 10:4 says that He calls us by name (love it!), leads us out, and goes ahead of us.  For me, God going ahead of me is reassuring.  He has a plan and a specific path for my life, if I only follow His voice. For me this means spending more time in His word and in prayer with Him. Jesus later says that He is the gate for the sheep and that if we enter through Him we will be saved.  I love that He cares for us, wants to save us, wants good things for us.  In a previous Bible study I did that involved the Old and New Testaments, God said that He writes our names on His palms. He has so many sheep but knows each of us, better than we could ever know ourselves; and He loves us despite so many things, wants to bless us and give us hope and a future.  This just warms my heart.  And it's only the beginning of the study.  I am loving learning more about my savior and am proud to be one of His "sheep."


What sorts of experiences have you had when listening for and following His voice?  How do you feel knowing you have a shepherd who cares for you?  


Have a gorgeous, blessed weekend!

Robyn

  

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Love Story, First Edition!

Happy Sunday evening!

I'm very appreciative and excited to have a break this week - Spring Break!  A very much needed pause, breather, chance to go searching for and find my sanity!  I hope you all had a relaxing weekend and enjoyed the gorgeous blue skies and fresh spring breezes today.  If you get a chance, hop over to the "Love Story" tab and take a gander at my first post.

Have a blessed week!
Love,

Robyn

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